It’s been 20 days ago since the end of my 1st semester in the university. Supposedly I still have 3 final exams to take, to my surprise (God has been so good) I was able to get an exemption from deformable bodies and physical chemistry. I found myself bored due to the monotonous and customary work inside the house. My siblings, including my collegiate brother from another university, are still going to school then, leaving me and my father, and sometimes when mom has no work, at our domicile. In the first few days of my “vacation” I switch places with my mom in waking early to prepare the breakfast, my siblings’ baon, and their boiled water for bathing. It was fun having to take the place of my mom who has been waking up 4 o’clock in the morning just to accomplish her daily obligation. My mom has been very steadfast despite her strenuous work schedule; and I admire her for that.
This daily routine which has been very mind-numbing and tiresome made me reminisce myself at the university. I remember when the semester was still on; I have always craved for a long, long rest because my mind is always occupied with all geeky stuff. This academic routine every student entails almost brought me to a burn-out. With my dear acquaintances from high school, chemical engineering friends, and org-mates, I was able to prevent myself not to succumb to this burn-out. I enjoy doing organizational work for it gave me the kind of happiness academics has deprived me. I met new people, knew them well, and forged them to become the best future of the organization. With friends, I watched free films in festivals, with the fact that all these “gimmicks” where unplanned and all-of-a-sudden trips.
This daily routine in the house: waking up, eating meals, watching DVDs, daily bathing, eating meals again, and watching the television late at night, became hackneyed. With a seldom surf to the internet, I did my way from this boredom. My mom brought me to an “octoberfest” a few days ago; drank a few cans with the presence of youthful live music and stand-up comedy. I just missed my tiring nights. I missed the nights where I truly appreciated my much coveted sleep due to school tasks.
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It is in this boredom I found my solitude, and in this solitude I contemplated on some truths of life. Everything in this world is very temporary; everything will come to its own end; but how and when it shall end only Him can tell. In my mind I kept thinking about my own death, how does it feel, and its aftermath. My readiness to face this ghost is a blurred image. Somehow my faith in Him is in question, and if I were to paint my faith, my portrait is an abstract. Somehow during those nights I find my spirit in dryness, to find the Lord in my life became insurmountable. I just wished and prayed that my death would be a happy death, and that my life will find its higher purpose, and in the afterlife I’ll be in the arms of the One who gave us the Greatest Love of all.
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Watching DVDs has been my favorite time killers. Detective dramas are my favorite and these have been the theme of my DVDs. Somehow I told myself that my being a chemical engineering student is a student is just a stepping stone to becoming a detective or a private investigator. I am always amazed of how these people retraced the prior events and being able to solve the case in the end. To weave the pieces of evidence into a vivid picture of the culprit is the prime goal. Locked-room murders challenged me, and how these murders have been successfully done myself has successfully deciphered. The beautiful crime that intertwined with its story is something to look forward every end of the episode. Someday I’ll be releasing my own detective story.
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